Thursday, April 2, 2009

Young Now

Written Mothers' Day, 1990

Walker, look at me!
I'm young now!
"How could such a little girl have such a fine, big boy?" people ask.
I'm young now!
I carry your diaper bag loaded with toys to amuse you, and I don't care how heavy it is,
I can run half the length of the block behind your stroller just to hear your laughter,
I can watch you crush your crackers into crumbs and run for the camera because your messes are so cute and I'm not tired.
I'm young now!

Laurel, listen to me!
I'm still young.
I hunt for old pictures of me and the school dresses my mother kept, and I put them on you and brush your hair into a ponytail (too tight) like mine,
just to see you look the same.
But you are so much prettier!
I marvel at your femaleness and feel, shushed with awe, that I have recreated myself!
I listen to you all day long, because you love to talk, too!
And it's so much fun!
I'm still young!

Sean, this is me.
I'm not young.
I look into your eyes, like mine (without the crinkles) and see how deep and wise they are.
I take the time to sit with you and look at books on dinosaurs because you weren't sure how to pronounce "carnivore" , and you wanted me there - even if the floor needs sweeping.
I know how to listen to a teacher tell me you're clever and how to be wise enough not to deny it for politeness' sake, because I know it's true.
I corral you in my arms for kisses even when you're outside-sweaty,
and when you try to escape, I'm still young enough to win!

Even though,
I'm not young now.


Texana said...

Well said. Why didn't I memorize those moments more while I had them. Nothing else was ever more important than the moments with the children.
Thank the Lord for grandkids and second chances.


2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Loved your comments on Missy's post written by Walker about 5 things.